Comments Made During the Contest

Bill Delehanty (Level 4)

Very interesting premise. The non-comedy version of Groundhog Day.
Just be careful the repeating could become comical after a while. You have to know when too much is too much.
Great character and opening. I hope this one advances.

Brian Howell (Level 5)

This is VERY GOOD! I'm definitely into it and wanting more. I'm hoping to get more about the other people on the bus quick. So I know Alex's gift is his photographic memory, but I also want to know the others. I'm also thinking I'm going to be seeing this opening scene quite a bit. This isn't really tied to your story but something went through my head as Alex woke up the last time - this is going to get old to write over and over. I commend you on this undertaking.

Anyway, as far as the story and characters go - this going well. I don't know a whole lot about these people, but I think that's the point. I will learn as we go along.

There weren't any glaring weaknesses or problems.

VERY GOOD!

Brian Wind (Level 5)

This is my 16th review and the 3rd script I've come across that I feel positive will advance to the finals.

I didn't notice any errors in formatting or punctuation, no typos.

On the most basic level, the premise reminds me of a weird indy horror film called The Deaths of Ian Stone where a guy gets killed every day by demons only to wake up and start the day over and be killed again, but your script goes in a different direction immediately.

Your style is fresh and this script is awesome. Clearly you have a great creative vision of how this movie will play out on the screen & these first 10 have me on board 100%.

As far as the script goes, I didn't notice anything that could be improved. You nailed it. Great descriptions & dialogue, good characters, fascinating plot. The only possible room for improvement I see is that the title is nowhere near as interesting as the script. It doesn't tell us enough about the story and isn't a real attention grabber. Other than improving the title to something catchier, this is close to perfect. Great, great work! I gave this an Excellent without any hesitation at all. I'm looking forward to reading the rest in a couple months.

Caroline Coxon (Mod Emeritus)

I found the title and logline intriguing.

I thought this was brave and different. Not saying I understood it but I'm sure I'm not expected to this early on in the film. I liked your characters, and the pace and the believable dialogue and the dry wit.

A few notes:

RESPAWN#1 - what the bloomin' heck does THAT mean? Not a good start to be so confused, so early.RESPAWN#2???RESPAWN#3...

Surely if RESPAWN means repeat - then the first scene is just a scene and the SECOND is RESPAWN#1?

After the slugline IN THE BUS you don't need to say there are 4 more people 'in the bus'

Chris Keaton (Level 5)

This logline speaks of an ambitious sci-fi drama. It took me a few tries to open your script hopefully it was worth all the effort (yes all those finger clicks can tire me out :)

- You really went through hoops trying to figure out how many ways to say a rope twangs tight.
- Oh yeah, I was just trying to kill myself and got caught in a time loop, no trouble. Thanks hidey-ho. Really? That's a real calm response for what just happened.

Well you ended with a bang. Not sure if I just wasn't in the mood, but this didn't grab me. I think it could be a visual treat. I got a hint of that in these few pages, but other than a day to day survival I don't see where it's going. I guess that's asking too much of the first ten pages. Overall I had little complaints, good job.

Chris Messineo (Founder)

This is very intriguing. I love the repetition (although I don't think you need to put "Respawn #" in your script). It reminded me of "Groundhog Day", but in a much darker and more twisted environment.

I found the conversation in the bus, a little too confusing - I wanted a bit clearer explanation there. But I loved the death at Niagra Falls and then repeat of the opening scene.

I am very interested to see where this is all going and I hope I get to read more.

Dan Delgado (Level 5)

I don't know why but as soon as I read "ALEX TRIFF's 36 year old face...", I was thinking how old are his other body parts? I know, I'm warped but it seems like a clumsy way to introduce a character and his age. The "RESPAWN" thing didn't work for me. It just sort of took me out of the story. I get that the same thing is repeating without adding that.

Some of the dialogue was a little on the nose and maybe some could have trimmed a little, but it's not too bad. The characters are good -- I like LEE and NORA -- they like decent folks. From the logline it looks like an interesting idea and I understand that people are confused and going a little bazoo, but in my opinion you stretched that out a little too much. Maybe you could have gotten by with three or four RESPAWNS, not five, at the beginning and picked the pace up a little for the rest of it.

Okay, we get it -- people are going nuts because days are repeating and ALEX is in an endless suicide loop. Maybe spend five or six pages on that and move on. I think you could have an interesting story, but I'll be tempted to quit reading it if I see (RESPAWN #7).

Thank you.

I gave this one a rating of "Good".

Dan Lennox (Level 5)

Wow... This was a strange one. To be honest, I had to read it over a few times to figure out what was going on, and to be honest, I'm still not a hundred percent sure.

You did do a good job of hooking me into the story. Great opening images. Through the process of trying to figure out what was happening, I did become involved in the story wanting to read on to see what this was all about.

There are a lot of characters coming and going in the first ten pages, but if you are like me, I like to name even my minor characters. A lot of folks will mark you down for that, but I don't mind. You do a good job defining who your main characters are.

Overall, this isn't bad. Although it seems a bit hard to follow here and there, I'm still drawn into the story and wanting to know more about what happens.

David Birch (Level 5)

i thought this was one of the most original concepts in a screenplay that i've read in a long time...even though it's not really my genre type, i couldn't help but become interested in the story plot...stylistically, i thought you went overboard on the rope jumping...just a bit too much...after two or three, we get the idea...you devoted too much space to the jumping at the expense of getting your story out...the bus ride was a perfect opportunity to set your story parameters and give enough backstory to attach your reader emotionally...but, overall i thought you did a nice job formatting...your dialog was nice...only quibble would be that you should be consistent when you say "bus"...then in one sentence you refer to it as "the greyhound"...i thought, when did a dog enter the story?...so i'd change it just for clarity sake...

Douglas Noble (Level 1)

I enjoyed the concept of the this screenplay quite a bit, and I could easily see it as a movie. In fact I would very much enjoy seeing this as a film even though it's not the typical genre of movie that I usually want to go see. I'm very interested in how this turns out. The only thing I would work on is developing the main character a little. He seems to be a little black and white with out much depth. Other that that it's great.

Faith Friese Nelson (Level 5)

This looks like an interesting story but it took me a while to figure out what was going on.

nd the reason it took me so long to figure out what was going on was because the writer used the word RESPAWN. I didn’t know what this word meant, so I went to Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com told me that there were no dictionary results for the

word RESPAWN. So, then I googled the word. I finally found out what the word meant. My point is this… Use words that MOST READERS will understand. I am not a “gamer” and I suspect that many other readers will not be either. The exercise of having to find out what the word RESPAWN meant took me out of the story...

Herman Chow (Level 5)

Is this inspired by Groundhog Day?

At first, the beginning two pages feel so weird. Feels like a video game where you re-try what you did wrong until you get it right. I suggest cutting out at least one respawn as it gets repetitive and drags. You don't want it to drag on page two already.

But I like how we are thrown into this world and we're put into Alex's shoes right away. We are as lost as Alex is. Lee is an interesting character I'd want to know more about. So good job on that.

You described the scenery pretty well. Not too detail yet gave us enough visual clues as to what's going on. Good dialogue on the bus.

There's one major problem with this premise though, and one of the characters actually said it out loud: "It's pretty boring. Nothing at stake. No risk." I mean, how can we feel the tension and root for the character to succeed if there is no stake at all. They can just try again until they succeed.

And now the last bit just made me groan. We're now back to page 1?!!! Oh my, has the story even moved? Well, we'll see and I actually want to know what's going to happen next since this is intriguing.

VERY GOOD.

James Hughes (Level 5)

The first sequence in the garage read well. I think you could make it even tighter. Maybe you do not have to put the full slugline each time and maybe you do not have to show the rope snapping tight each time (maybe bring it back again for the last one at page 10 for more impact). I liked that you used the ant farm in different conditions. What does Respawn mean? I haven't seen it before. Is it a standard thing to put into sluglines for this type of repeating action?

How would the movie show it was already hot as hell. There is nothing written to show that.

When they are getting on the bus, Alex seems to understand that he remembers things as if it is an issue to remember things. He seems to be in the dark about everything else, so not sure why he be aware that he has a special skill? When his neighbor asks if he knows him, I would think he would just say, yeah I know you Lee. or something like that. Also, to the bus driver, he would just say, I know you Henry, questioning him as to why he is even asking? Maybe this gets cleared up later, just wondering why he seems to know others don't remember things but he does.

Why would he scare them if he doesn't keep his head down? Also, why does Alex say right, as if he understands him. I didnt' understand what that meant.

I went through this more than once. It is a bit confusing. I am not sure what the rules are, but I am not sure I should know them yet. In a story like this, am I supposed to understand the rules yet or will i need more of this script to reveal all of this to me? I guess my feedback would be that if you think I should understand what is happening and who remembers / does not remember, what resetting means, etc., then I do not. If you don't think I should and more of the script is needed, then OK.

I liked the first ten pages of this. It was compelling and makes me want to read the rest. I did notice that there was less development of characters here than I saw in other scripts. Your story necessitates more time spent on developing the situation than characters, but I still think you could have done a little more towards developing at least Alex and Lee.

JeanPierre Chapoteau (Moderator)

Hm... I have no idea what a respawn is. I googled it and found nothing. I'm intrigued so far, but lost all at the same time.

This was cool. I don't have much to say about it. I really like how his day starts with him hanging himself. Eventually it will become comical if you keep showing it. I think that's a good thing, though.

The story it self doesn't seem consistent already. Lee and Alex don't seem to know each other, so how does Lee know Alex remembers everything? Another thing that I am scratching my head over is, does Alex fully understand what's going on? I thought he knew why everything was like that until you explained that he didn't. He seemed pretty calm to find out the world is just going in circles. His just seemed to relaxed about the situation at hand.

This was entertaining though, and I would like to see more.

Good writing.

Khamanna Iskandarova (Level 5)

p9 - sexy even when smoking her sigarette - why 'even'?

Is it from the inventor of "poornamadah??

I'm wondering the way I understood the logline when judging the logline round. It's a little over my head now.

I think you could give us a little more. It's a very interesting concept but what you have in these ten is - everything resets - that's all, right? I read the pages twice...

Becky, bus - the images are strong and I know you are planning to connect them and build ties later on the pages to follow but right now it's disconnected scenes and I understand very little of what about to unfold. At least if I could guess what the question is, what should I be curious about. I'm curious about why everything resets but again, for me there's no more than that.

The pages are no less than good of course. Expertly written too. But I have to say I'm a bit disappointed. Not exactly poornala this time...

KP Mackie (Level 5)

The visual components in these pages are amazing. The locations are typical, but it's the details that provide so much. In the opening alone: Alex hanging in the "Garage," his "bare feet" dangling, "the noose around his neck," and "in the reflection of the ant farm (an interesting shot), he falls limp." Compelling and attention-grabbing first scene.
Six (6) "Respawns" may be too many. The progression of Alex's situation is clear, but may be difficult to keep a reader's and viewer's attention fixed through the same scenario, albeit with some good visual changes. Three might be a good number; maybe, edit the description a bit to get to Alex's rescue quicker. Including the ant farm as a constant is good, but the essence of each scene is Alex's suicide attempt -- how he looks, how his body reacts, and how he tries to save himself. Took a couple reads to picture "Rope jumps taut"; seems the camera is on the rope as it tightens, a consequence of Alex's weight at the end.
Alex's introduction is unique. His age, coupled with his appearance with the noose around his neck is memorable. Not sure that Lee's first appearance as "The big Lee" or "...his powerful physique, which is particularly visible since Lee only wears a bathrobe" is effective. A simpler description of Lee wielding the fire-axe in his bathrobe might be more efficient.
Alex's toss over the railing into Niagara Falls, a terrific location, would be the best place for the catalyst to end the first ten.

Lee Carlisle (Level 4)

Very interesting hook - drew me into the piece immediately. I think there's more explaining to do with the world, but this is a very good start.

I couldn't get a good feel of whether or not this was Alex's first time surviving the hanging. If it was, I think his reaction to surviving death needs to be a little larger. If not, I don't understand what the talk about Alex remembering everything is about.

After the initial open, the piece lacks a feeling of importance or danger - maybe Lee should be more cautionary when he fills Alex in on the world.

I liked the ending scene, but I maybe wouldn't have Becky specifically mention killing someone so early in their conversation - it telegraphs the punchline of her pushing him over the falls.

Overall, I would work on clarifying the world a little bit, but I'm eager to see where this heads.

Margaret Ricke (Level 5)

I honestly had no idea how you were going to get this idea across, but you did it exceptionally well! I'm really going to be disappointed if this doesn't make it to round three!

Excellent work!

Martin Jensen (Level 5)

Great first scene. I love how you just let the whole thing play out again and again, even repeating a few lines. It's very tense.

Then when they leave the house, that moment is so surreal. Great.

I really like how you establish the rules of this time loop early on, just when I was wondering how the whole thing worked. Although now it seems more like 'Groundhog Day' on a global scale, I'm sure the story is much different than that.

You really hammer it home with the last scene in these ten pages. Shockingly violent, but for a purpose.

I'm really excited to read the rest now. Excellent.

Michael Alberstadt (Level 4)

This is a riveting concept; I thoroughly enjoyed the read. There is enough to grab me and make me wonder what happens next.

My only real criticisms are in syntax and language. Words like "fillips" which is obviously "flips" when you read it, but something that needs to be caught in rewrites and, perhaps, with a spell check. Also, sentences like "I'm not taking a bus, sorry, this is getting a little too weird" beg for a period instead of a comma. Once you've finished your screenplay, give it a read for syntax--how the sentences will be read, or said. Where pauses will be (if you intend pauses) and where thought begin and end. Or, find a really good editor that can look for that stuff and mark it up. Simple language skills may be the only difference between a screenplay that remains a screenplay, and one that gets shot.

You certainly have the raw creativity and imagination. Where the heck will this go from here? I can't wait to read it.

Michael Cornetto (Level 5)

That was well written and really the only thing that kept me from giving it an excellent is the repetitiveness. I realise that it is essential to the story but I worry that there will be too much of it.

You can't help but look at this story and think Groundhog Day and I think the repetitiveness really brings out that comparison. I would think you would want to avoid that.

I think you did a great job writing it though. Good opening, crisp descriptions, so I have no complaints there.

Hope to see you continue on to the final segment.

MJ Hermanny (Level 5)

The opening with the repeat of the suicide is electric and very strong indeed, great tension wondering whether the person outside will actually get to him. Very succinct writing.

RESPAWN # - is the audience meant to be able to see this? If so you need to use a SUPER:

I did get rather confused as the script continued on the first readthrough but after a couple of readings it makes more sense. But why do they need Alex? This did confuse me. They want him as a human notepad because he remembers everything – but then Lee also says that their minds don't reset so surely everyone remembers as is obvious by Lee trying to save him several days in a row, Troy's handouts and Becky's comments.

Characters are good, easy to diffentiate. Dialogue is natural. Lots going on and my interest is definitely piqued. Why does Alex kill himself? What's going on? Etc, etc – very strong hooks indeed and finishing with Becky pushing him over the falls and then the suicide again is a fab cliff-hanger.

Great description of Becky.

I do wonder how often you're going to repeat the hanging scene – it could get a little boring and lose its impetous.

Typo – ant/ants (p1)

some use of passive -ing words and on page 9 very bland choice of words in one sentence – smiles/walks/sits/watches. Try some more descriptive verbs such as slumps/grins/ambles/observes etc.

Overall very good, you've certainly got me hooked. Well done.

Paul Williams (Level 5)

Title: It's unique and easy to pronounce, but I'm not quite sure how it fits the story, as-of-yet.

Logline: It doesn't appear that you've modified your logline. Story seems interesting. I can't really get an idea about what's really going to happen, so here we go!

Page 1:

-There's no "FADE IN:"
-Not quite sure what "RESPAWN" means, but I guess, and hope, you'll tell us.

In summary, you're going to hear the "Groundhog Day" comparisons in many, many reviews I would bet. Granted, that was a comedy, this doesn't appear to be, but it's a fair comment.

You introduce a bunch of characters in these ten pages, all with proper names, and I wonder if they'll all be important to the story. If not, I would remove the character, remove the proper name, or combine a few of them.

I found a lot of the dialogue a little on the expositional side. There's a lot of question/answer with characters. A lot of the dialogue boxes are pretty thick, as well. Try to scale that back some.

I'm intrigued here, but I don't know if I'm 100% hooked. I'm afraid of some familiar plot-points arising: the "Groundhog Day" parallel, a post-apocalyptic society, saving the planet from devastation, the troubled, misunderstood genius, etc. This also had "The Matrix" feel to it.

Very Good.

Good luck to you.

Pete Barry (Level 5)

Without a doubt, a fascinating premise, a brilliant jumpstart, and a busful of interesting characters. You easily weave into the action and dialogue Alex's two important traits - suicidal tendencies and eidetic memory - which instantly make him unique in this new world. It's almost a video-gamish world - you die, restart the level. (Hey, you'll get this thing produced and next you'll have Circadia for Plyastation.)

I enjoy the unexplained (respawn) in the scene headings. You get it almost immediately, and it will help to keep the reader on course. (I'm glad it's not in the script, but respawn supers might work in the movie.)

There are minor problems. Lee wonders why Alex would kill himself so early. Clearly he'd have no idea what was coming - it's just bad luck. I'm glad Alex brings up the point (early) that I was thinking about "no risk". The stakes of the story are going to be interesting. I see where you're headed with the breakdown of society, but you have to make sure we see the endgame. These people have eternity to rebuild a society around the new Earth. That would actually be an incredibly interesting thing to watch, but would make a less standard (and probably less emotional) movie. You're going to have to walk a tightrope to make their motivations and the scenario plausibly horrific.

The most emotionally terrific thing about this setup is this seed: Alex is totally dependent on Lee. Lee is his friend now. But if Lee ever turns against him, he's stuck in hell forever. If you make that an event somewhere in the middle of the movie, that would be amazingly scary.

Well done, and I'm sure I'll be reading the whole movie later this year.

Philip Whitcroft (Level 5)

This was an idea that interested me. Let's see how it goes...

Pg 1 - "(RESPAWN #1)" - I'm not sure about having this is the slug because it doesn't mean anything upon first read.

That's certainly a stand out first page. Not for the faint of heart obviously, but memorable.

Pg 2 - At Respawn #5 I'll admit I'm getting a little impatient.

Pg 3 - "If it wasn't for me you'd be dying there forever." - I wonder if this sounds a little like exposition.

Pg 4 - At this stage I like the dramatic start but I'm not sure about their conversation. I'm confused, which I guess I'm supposed to be. Because they have slowed down for a chat that also means I have time to think which in this case might not be good. Also I'm getting that exposition feel again. I think part of it is that they are talking about things which we have just seen, so perhaps that is not moving things along.

Pg 7 - It's definitely a curious set up of an interesting world.

"So what the hell's going on?" - It feels like he has asked this repeatedly and not gotten an answer, I too an getting frustrated. Another comment on this line is that it is an example of dialogue that might be a little bit plain in that it feels like an obvious way for him to say this.

The explanation at the end of page 7 is a good story set up, but for me it's taken a long time for him to explain this and I'm not sure the delay has move the story along. Another comment on this is that perhaps being told about it is a dull way to find out that this is happening.

Pg 8 - I'm probably not concentrating properly but I'm not following what the special significance of Alex is. How is his memory different from other peoples'? If you are going to have a long verbal explanation of what is happening then it really needs to get the message across clearly.

Pg 10 - "I think it's pretty boring." - For me I don't see how he is placed to make this comment since he is the only person around who has not had the chance to have some fun with this yet.

"I think you'll see life without consequence can be quite scary." - She says this without knowing his background, so why would she be talking as if he is new to the whole thing?

I like the her killing him thing and I like the way you have set this up with him in a terrible position at the start of each day.

Overall the story concept is really strong and I like much of what you have done with it. As I've noted above I've got some hesitations about how you are delivering on the concept at the moment but I'm definitely interested to see what else you have in mind for it.

Richard Scott (Level 2)

Wow. Top marks for creativity. I loved the way the story began - we are left completely in the dark as this poor guy suffers through death after violent death. A lot of good imagery in the garage gave us a vague idea of what was happening, but still left us scratching our heads. I love the idea, and it opens a lot of doors for creative death scenes. The time element is great, the clock can make a great antagonist if executed properly. The 'sexy death' was a good way to put the situation in perspective, with him once again waking up in the garage. It also gave us the impression that is most certainly not his last death in this story.

I'm very excited to how this plays out in a full length. My fear is that will be a tough write to pace properly, and will need a whole lot of revision to protect against continuity errors.

I don't really have any complaints on this for what it is. At 10 pages, it was a great read. The dialogue was straight to the point without being abrupt and boring, your characters are interesting and unique, leaving us with a thirst to learn more about them. The action lines were respectful of the reader, snappy and quick while maintaining all the necessary descriptive qualities needed to understand the surrounding situations.

All in all, this was a great read, fast and thought provoking. I look forward to reading the full feature.

Rustom Irani (Moderator)

I Love this. It has a dark "Groundhog Day" premise on a global scale and the opening is the best I've read so far.

A minor gripe would be trying to enter the suicide scenes at a different description each time to quickly get into more avenues for possible escape from the hanging. Repeating the whole thing the first two times is fine but then I felt the pace getting slow and monotonous. Again, "Groundhog Day" pulls this off by entering the same scene in different ways to elicit different reactions.

But other than that, great characters, great hook, fantastic stuff. Love sci-fi like this.

I'll read the whole thing.

Sally Meyer (Moderator)

Good opener with lots of visuals. The rope hanging, Alex kicking to get away. Then it's repeated over and over, of course this gets my interest right away.. shouldn't he be dead by now?

I think this would play out very well on film, the opener is strong and we're already wondering what's going on.

I think the thing that needs work is the dialogue. Because of your opener I expected the dialogue to be a little snappier.

Some of your action lines could be trimmed, you spend a lot of time with unecessary descriptions

For instance when Leo brings Alex into the kitchen and he's looking for an aspirin, we don't need all the details of him looking thru the cabinets etc.. just cut the scene to start when he's giving him an aspirin.

This story is going to be fun to read more of. It's unusual, out of the box, so I'm looking forward to reading more and seeing what's going on in this bizarre world.

Nicely done.

Scott Merrow (Level 5)

Holy moley!

On Page 7, Alex sums it up for me. "So what the hell's going on?"

This is SO confusing. I kinda get the basic idea (mostly because of your logline) -- there's some kind of global time loop and the human race is going crazy because there are no consequences of anyone's actions. But I gotta tell ya, if I hadn't read your logline, I wouldn't have a clue what this is all about. Respawning, ant farms, Niagara Falls (which is in a river, by the way, not a lake), gunshots, animals running wild, hoodied hipsters, and on and on and on. Yikes!!!

You ought to be using your first ten pages to get us totally hooked on your story, but (aside from what I gleaned from your logline) I don't have any idea what the story is. It's hard to be hooked if you don't understand what's going on.

Let me give you an example of a very important thing you didn't accomplish in your first ten pages. In your logline, you say that your protagonist is a "suicidal genius". We got a glimpse (six glimpses, actually) of the suicidal part, but nowhere did we get any inkling that he's a genius. We didn't really get to know much about him at all -- he was just dragged by events (and other people) through the first ten pages.

I think you might also have a few plot holes to plug up, too. For example, why was Lee in Alex's house looking for supplies? Why are supplies a problem? Why not just wait 'til the next cycle of the time loop and gather up supplies when they're plentiful? And why did Lee tell the bus driver that "this guy remembers"? Then, a couple pages later, he says "the only thing that don't jump back are our minds". So, doesn't everybody remember? Then, why is Alex special?

Anyway, I think you have a really cool idea here, but the first ten pages are really confusing. (To me, anyway.)

My score: FAIR.

Sylvia Dahlby (Level 5)

Well this got my attention. The characters need a little work, I think Alex is a under-defined seeing as how he's the protagonist. His relationship with Lee could be stronger but I'll withhold judgement for now. I understand the redundancy is part of the time loop, but think looking at the bigger picture from different angles rather than the same scene over & over might be better. Like show Lee arriving too late. Overall, this is Good. Interesting set-up and makes me want to know what happens next.

Tony Galloway (Level 1)

There's a lot I love about this short, but also a few thing i disliked. The things I disliked were thing like, not knowing what the hell is going on, but again, to get the point across you have to leave a few things out, so its not a huge deal. Love how it keeps you interested on every page. Enjoyed it, i just think it needs a full 90 minutes to do it justice.

William Bienes (Mod Emeritus)

I think the concept is excellent and the writing is quite good. The setup began to get on my nerves, however. And I understand why you have to do it -- I just think this will play far better on-screen than on paper. On paper it appears redundant and agitating. On the screen I'm sure it will appear fast-paced and intriguing. No marks off for that, just wanted to share my reactions and feelings while reading the setup.

The characters are very interesting and they are colored with backstory as well as conflict.

Again, interesting concept and well done first ten pages. Good luck.

Comments Made After the Contest

Pete Barry (Level 5) ~ 7/9/2011 7:37 AM

I just plugged this, and was chagrined to realize I never put it in my favorites.

How's this script doing these days?

Paul De Vrijer (Level 5) ~ 7/10/2011 5:35 AM

Thanks for the plug Pete. The script has been finished, I entered it too late last year (couple of min), and I've rewritten pieces of it.

This is one of my pet projects, really uncomprised vision of a sci-fi drama. I know it needs a little bit more work, but if I manage to pick up a bigger manager for oversea-queries, this script would be the first to get mailed.

Till that day it's collecting digital dust?

Travis DeStein (Level 5) ~ 7/10/2011 6:36 AM

I'm sure there are people out there who'd love to read it, Paul... !