Comments Made During the Contest

Audrey Webb (Level 5)

Very intriguing story. I really enjoyed the character of Ramin. I'm curious, though, why he couldn't control and direct the power so that his friend Stevie didn't also die. I think that since you're giving him unique powers, give him the ability to focus it, too.

I think that the helicopters and hundreds of soldiers would be a huge detriment in getting this movie made. Your budget would skyrocket, and I think unnecessarily so. It's a nice quiet film and would be just as wonderful without all that extra expense written into it.

Brian Wind (Level 5)

This was a very cool script. Nice concept, good character definition, wonderfully gory, but unfortunately way too huge of a budget to ever see the screen. Written and paced well with only a few minor typos that I noticed. Overall, this was very solid. Nice job.

C M Hall (Level 2)

So much happens, so quickly, this seems like it would work best done in comic book form, or as a very dark cartoon. The story has a definite impact but doesn't seem likely to work as a film -- which is not meant to be a criticism; the compactness of the writing is effective and it is not likely that the crispness of the tone could be maintained in a longer version of the piece.

Caroline Coxon (Mod Emeritus)

An intriguing title...

The title page, however, is annoying. Best just to have the title. A good idea to proofread your work too, before submitting, to avoid spelling errors like 'busses' and 'head to heal'

I have to say straight away that I'm not at all a fan of violence and blood and gore.

Why did you underline the word bursts?

This is a powerful (and bloody) piece. I felt that the eclipse was shoved in to meet the rules and played no useful part, which to me is not in the spirit of the contest. It was well written and would need a phenomenal budget to make into a film! Visually strong and I liked the juxtaposition of the word 'live' with 'die' at the end.

I'm sure the blood and guts brigade will love it!

Chris Keaton (Level 5)

Are you ready!
- (Cont'd) aren't needed anymore. I think it's because we can tell they are continuing or the fact that producers are now having the scripts read to them by computers.
- Double space before your scene heading.
- I can see where a horrible death can be entertaining, but a simple falling down can have more impact. And gives this piece a better chance of being made.
- Don't start a scene with dialog. Give us hint of what we are seeing. Even if the person is speaking in the dark, you would write 'darkness.'
- Ok, this could never be produced. Nevermind explode all the people you want.
I like this piece. I think it adds a nice human touch to a sci-fi piece. You don't see that enough. Sure the hook has been used before, but what hook hasn't. It's a damn shame you just threw in a solar eclipse. I guess it meets the requirements, but it hurts the story. It's just out of place where everything else fits so nicely. Well done.

Chris Messineo (Founder)

Clean up the title page.

Your craft is good. I like the V.O., but I wish there was a little less of it. What I really like is the story though. It is very compelling.

However, the solar eclipse feels like an afterthought. I'm not sure why it is there (other than to qualify for the contest).

Still, this is very well written, a great read, and the ending with the twist on the word, is wonderful.

Christopher Castle (Level 4)

Nice title. Interesting story but maybe not my personal taste. I found the concept interesting with the young indestructable boy but then I was not keen on the idea of him being restrained as it took the tension out the story. Some strong written action sequences and effective dialogue. It has potential.

David Birch (Level 5)

has some strong points...for the most part written well enough, but things like "the city seems deserted" are problematic in "spec format"...it (the street) is either deserted or not...tell the reader what we will see without subtext...the V.O. might be a little overdone, but that would be a totally subjective evaluation...i'm ambivalent, if it works, it works...others will just have a visceral reaction to any V.O...my biggest problem with the story is that i didn't see why, given the powers to stop a hailstorm of bullets, why he would need to run anywhere??? given what you told us, he could have walked out of the room and dared them to attack him...so may be the script needed more pages to explain the parameters of his power...

Elias Farnum (Level 5)

That was pretty cool, what, the birth of a superman? This is epic, and close to excellent. Tight and crisp writing, the VO was a bit expository but worked to achieve the intensity you were striving for. You did a fantastic job conveying the boy's internal conflict. This has the "Fire Starter" feel to it, and should make a good feature if you give Ramin an expanded goal and resolution.

The title is awesome, and the eclipse was a crescendo. Very Good, very good indeed.

Faith Friese Nelson (Level 5)

This was a wonderful screenplay that I loved. Very imaginative. Excellent work. Could only find one thing to comment about. Here it is! Congratulations!

Page 3: Whenever you write a number, write it out, unless it is a date. Example: "Ramin is several years older now, about 15, perpetually sedated." So, 15 should be fifteen.

Garrett Box (Level 4)

I couldn’t help but notice the plot holes. Why is it that he can make people explode rather than just die? If someone can kill another just by saying die, why would they strengthen his body? What’s the point of strengthening his mind? Why would they want to use him as a weapon, he’s too unstable? And the dialogue feels like a ‘90s Schwarzenegger action movie. “They tried to control me. Big mistake.” Also, I think it would be too bloody.

Jane Beckwith (Level 4)

I like this very much. The solar eclipse (and passing of the eclipse) were well integrated into the psychology of the piece. I didn't feel like we needed every single voice 0ver, but I understand that you wanted to voice to remain consistent. I thought the ending was very good. Some of the action seemed to be very sketched in. For example, I think you might want to put in more description as to the cognitive tasks. These should be highly visual and presented to the reader.

Jeannie Sconzo (Level 5)

Very good job - interesting and most definitely original.
We feel differently about the lead character throughout - sorry for him, despising him, understanding him and we end having a renewed hope in him as a human being.

Jeffrey Slocum (Level 4)

I though it was very well written.

Joe Belzberg (Level 3)

I love the way you ended this, although it seems a bit implausible that it would take Ramin so long to try saying live instead of die. Despite this, this is well-done. It was exciting, and you did an excellent job creating sympathy towards the main character. There were a few technical issues however: you should introduce Ramin as RAMIN, not YOUNG BOY. I think giving Ramin a few more physical characteristics would make him even more sympathetic. You did a really good job integrating the solar eclipse: it's subtle and I didn't fully catch it on my first read-through of this, but I got the metaphor on my second read. Excellent work!

Joel Davis (Level 5)

The eclipse seems really tacked on here. The light/dark kind of fits but it doesn't really come together.

I liked this story. The biggest disappointment was the voice-over, the script actually does a very good job of showing us what happens, adding the V.O. really just diminishes the visual and narrative impact (and takes up space that could be better spent on visuals).

I assume that Ramin brings the boy to life -- but you should show this, and instead of explaining, Ramin could simply whisper "live".

It's a good start, atmospheric and certainly epic, but it needs more to succeed as a story.

John Brooke (Level 5)

You have presented us with a really interesting concept “death by thinking it.” Then you followed that idea in your story line to the very end of your story. I found your characterizations rather wooden and inhuman but that is probably correct under the circumstances of the story.

Your protagonist sure kept his power under wraps for a very long time. This built the tension up and kept me hooked right to the end of your story.
The other supportive characters in your story seem to be simple minded one dimensional cardboard replicas.

Your plot is powerful and so compelling that small flaws simply melt away from my consciousness. Everything comes together in the cataclispmc ending.

Your script came across as compelling and fresh. Your presentation hooked me until it’s bitter conclusion. Good.

John Ward (Level 3)

I liked the script, it was relatively well written and was nicely paced. It all felt a little bit familiar in places though, reminiscent of an episode of 'Buffy' - but a good effort none the less. I felt that the protagonist was a little flat though, and a little verbose for a kid as emphasized by the initial voice over. The title was also pretty good and in keeping with the main thrust of the story. Where I felt this was weak was in the use of the eclipse. I'm sure I won't be the only one to say this, but it feels like you had this pre-written and then put in the eclipse as an afterthought. The eclipse is almost irrelevant to your story. This is fine, but I feel that the writer should build their work around the theme rather than the other way around.

Jon Hill (Level 4)

This came across as an enjoyable mixture of Scanners and Akira. I found myself enjoying it despite its flaws.

The most obvious criticism is that your screenplay is littered with little formatting errors. For example, every time you introduce a new character you should CAPITALIZE their name. Similarly, when you introduce the young Ramin for the first time, you call him “A YOUNG BOY” rather than Ramin.

Jose Batista (Level 5)

Interesting concept. Ramin's powers seem to be psychic in nature. The script did not delve into that in any way. Not eve a subtle hinting at what it may be. I feel that this is what does the script in. The story itself was great, but that little detail makes a difference. People want to know what they're rooting for, so a small explanation of his powers would have been good. The script also felt rushed. I understand the five page constraint could be the cause, but I feel like you put in too much into this short. Maybe the scene with the bullies in school could have been shortened or omitted. The gained space could be used for the laboratory scene, which was well crafted and shown.

Everything else about this script was excellent: The dialogue, scene descriptions, Ramin's Voice Over, the cool, cliff-hanger ending. I gave it a Very Good becuase of my complaint above, but if it wasn't for that this would certainly be an excellent. Great Job!

Kevin Carty (Level 4)

Oh this is good wouldn't be surprised if this wins 1st. The V.O.s are very good I guess the only thing I could say is. Again someone better at descriptions and action than I am.

Kyle Patrick Johnson (Level 5)

I'm glad you wrote in the title on the title page. But go ahead and delete all that other stuff that isn't filled in. It looks cluttered.

Your characters are a little messy, too. You introduce Ramin as Young Boy, but in the very next continuous scene he's presented as both Young Ramin and Ramin. Either there's three characters running around, or just one with three names. Consistency is key.

The pacing of the next several pages is really well done. It almost feels like a montage, but reads very smoothly.

Boy, Ramin escaped awfully easy, didn't he? I think you should've focused on the mechanics of that, simply because if escaping were so easy, he should've done it a long time ago. Instead, you've just cut to him appearing on the street. It's like a big "Whoa, slow down there!" sign popped out of my forehead.

And another "Wait a sec" moment: since when did he develop the power to stop bullets in their tracks? Causing someone to die with a word is one thing, but force-fielding a grenade is something else entirely. You've led me to believe the one, but springing the second isn't fair. I think he'd have to yell "Die" before they give the order to fire.

A very cool ending. I loved it. In fact, your voiceover dialogue throughout is top-notch. You'd have an excellent if you clear up my three problems above.

Laureen Muller (Level 4)

The eclipse was a side bar and not part of the story, it was as if you just threw it in to fit the qualifications. The story has possibilities, but just didn't make you feel for the characters, and moves around too much for a short. The main character was very one dimensional. The concept could be a good thriller; it just needs more focus so you can follow the story better and feel for the characters.

Leigh Smith (Level 4)

Because the entire script is told in voice over, this seems to be a prologue to a full length script. I don't know if you had that in mind. This is a great start. I would like to see if Ramin is able to control his powers. Why does he exist? Is he someone who was created by a mad scientist or is he a freak of nature? This story has been visited before (child with all consuming destructive powers) in "Firestarter" and recently in an episode of "Darker than Black". The destroyer is kept as a child because the powers are more horrific and the reader/viewer feels some sympathy for the child. The is always a scene where the child breaks down and cries after realizing what he has done. Here, the child grows up. He is able to make decisions on his own. What will he do with this power and who is going to stop him?

The killing of the young clone was nice symbolism. A death of the younger self or childish things. The tempo of the script build . I figured out what the ending would be, but the ride was enjoyable. After reading this, I wanted more. That's always is a good sign.

Margaret Ricke (Level 5)

I had goosebumps while reading this. They really flared up at the end.

The story is complex in that you could write a feature length version and not run out of ideas. It's so simply told here, though, that there's an eloquence to it. You've made some punctuation errors - mostly leaving out commas at natural pauses - but they're fairly minor and an easy fix.

When you introduce any character that's important to the story, put their name or description in all caps. The grumpy old man should be introduced as a GRUMPY OLD MAN. Also, I think caps should be used when you want to emphasize something like BURSTS.

I just read through your script one more time. It still gives me goosebumps.

Excellent work.

Martin Jensen (Level 5)

Nice title. Already I'm thinking of the most deplorable word I know...

Although not completely original in terms of his special ability, the unfurling of the story was really interesting. However, because you keep jumping forward in the same person's life, it's sometimes confusing who's in the scene. The V.O. Ramin could also do with an age, or "adult Ramin" tag. He's telling everything with retrospect, so we know he's the oldest Ramin, but not how old.

I wasn't quite sure why Ramin didn't try to escape before, or why he even cooperated with them in the first place. I came to the conclusion that he was honing his skills until he could successfully escape and remain free, but there's no indication of that in the script.

The final revelation, although quite surprising and strangely optimistic, wasn't given enough time to develop, and I also think that he should perhaps feel a bit more guilty about the hundreds of innocent soldiers he killed, who were most likely only obeying orders.

Otherwise good.

Michael Cornetto (Level 5)

I thought the tone of this was great and the concept behind it. I have a bit of a problem with it on the whole because it seems like the start (a fantastic start) to a much larger story. I don't think you should correct this script by making it a smaller story, I think you should just write the feature it intros.

Michael Hoffman (Level 4)

This one had a lot going for it.
I thought the narrative was skillfully executed and had nice detail without being overly wordy. Also, high marks for the smooth flow. The action jumps around but I followed everything quite easily. Normally, I struggle when too much 'voice over' is employed but I think it worked well with the concept here. Ramin's character was special and it was fitting that he was almost this omnicient voice that narrates the tale.
I also give you credit for maintaining a consistent mood to the piece. Although it jumps around to several times and locations, it never strays from that sad but strong tone.
I have to admit, the 'gov't using him as a weapon' thing is a little cliche but it didn't spoil things for me and snatching up the clone was a nice unexpected twist.
I would have liked more relevance from the eclipse aspect but you worked it in okay.
Overall, I enjoyed this. Felt like a set-up for even a longer screenplay but there is plenty of excellent things that make it hold up on it's own.

Miriam Goldman (Level 3)

That was an interesting read, that's for sure. Your character was a well fleshed out blend of stereotypes, the kind which fangirls drool over, while the rest of us shake our heads in confusion over their group obsession. In other words, you might have created another Edward Cullen, had it been beautiful girls instead of little boys falling in his unintentional wake. I enjoyed the title, although Deplorable is a little bit of an overly dramatic word. Though I relish the thought of an actor doing some good overacting to this, some turns of phrase, especially in the beginning segment involving the demise of the old man, brought a smirk to my face. Still, keep writing and inventing. If you follow the trends a little better and take the white makeup, red lipstick, and applied beauty marks off your actors' faces, you might go from being just good to being really great.
3/5

MJ Hermanny (Level 5)

That last word gave me goosebumps all over. What an awesome story and extremely well told. I was drawn in right from Ramin's first line of dialogue and you held me captive till that final word.

I'm really impressed. Nothing constructive to offer you as I think this is fantastic. I would love to see this made, you need someone with a huge, ginormous budget!

AN engrossing story with a strong moral edge. Very well done. Excellent.

This is my winner for the month but that might be a curse as my favourites don't often place! Good luck!

Nathan Goldman (Level 4)

Killer ending -- or is it the opposite. I was blown away by this one. It is not a super original idea, but the perspective takes the idea to a whole new level. Technically it was well executed -- the formatting and the writing were excellent. The character arc in five pages was stunning. Then, the ending ...

Neal Barringer (Level 0)

earn an excellent by including these five elements:
hook (on page 1): yes
goal: no
conflict: yes
resolution: yes
wrap up: yes

my personal opinions about your script:
overall, I felt it just moved too fast (had too much happening). there were segments that I wish you would have shown rather than told me. for example, I'm not quite sure what (if anything) happened to Steven? and, why it happened to Steven rather than what I assume were bullies?
the resolution had amazing tension and I enjoyed reading that part.

Paul Williams (Level 5)

I wonder if this was a pre-written script and the solar eclipse was just added in at the end to fit the contest requirements because it does feel wedged in and, to be honest, feels out of place in the story and didn't add anything to it.

Otherwise, I liked the subject matter and tone to the story, even though it did have hints of "Firestarter" and other movies in which a young child has extraordinary powers and the government attempts to exploit them and in the end, kill them.

Your screenwriting and format good, I just have some small observations-

-I think you need at least one word of narrative under a scene-heading, you can't start with dialogue.

-Emphasis in the dialogue is generally underlined, not italiczed.

-I would just capitalize a verb or action word in the narrative, not underlined.

Paul Young (Level 3)

This one was very well written and I like the writer's style. Very graphic in most parts and it's easy to visualize... especially the part where the victim's body parts fall across the hood of the car... sick but shockingly appropriate. I also liked the twist in the end for something more to come in another short sequel. There were just a few typos I noticed you may want to check if you plan to edit this story again for something else in the future...

1. "His feet" (top of page 5)
2. a few places you have a space before the " ..." when the space should be after the "... "

Well done.

Peter Tolosa (Level 3)

This is a cool concept, reminds me of Akira. What I'm noticing on the very first page is that you used italics. I was taught never ever ever to use italics in my screenplays. Instead you should underline.

"Head-to-heal", hm... I'm thinking you meant "heel". I would have said "toe", this is nit-picking though not really all that important, I don't like to dock points over typos unless there are a ton.

"His body is lean and muscular." How I would have done it. I mean it's good to have condensed everything and all but why replace the word "is" with a comma? It looks a little weird to me.

I'm done being so critical. I like this story, but your usage of the term "Lab rat" may be a little confused. A lab rat is typically the test subject, not the scientist. The "guinea pig", if you will. A lab rat is a guinea pig, you dig?

I liked this story even though it's by no means at all an original idea. The concept of telepaths being experimented on and abused by a shady government science program only to create a monster, I mean... it's been done. Also I would have liked to see more references to an eclipse, maybe an annular eclipse could occurr just before he kills the bullies and his friend, then a total eclipse when he decimates the army. Just a thought. Good screenplay, I liked it. Well written, and the voice of the protagonist is quite righteous.

Philip Whitcroft (Level 5)

Overall, I didn't connect with this story. It is a detailed story told verbally. It would work well as a narrative short story or as a longer screenplay in which it could play out visually.

"RAMIN (V.O.) My name is Ramin Roarik. I was six years old when I realized I had the power to kill people." - I appreciate that you are going for shock effect here. For me though this line had the opposite effect. My first problem is that it is Voice Over, which for me immediately weakens it. The second is that I know nothing about this kid, and without character establishment before this kind of shock, the shock effect is diminished.

"I felt the strange coalescence of opposing sensations, a duality" - I realize he is talking when he is older, but visually he is a six year old, so this is a sophisticated description for a six year old to use. Ultimately we never find out how old he is when this thought process plays out. This highlights a common flaw of Voice Overs that this script has. It comes from nowhere, or at least we never find out where it comes from. He is describing this from an omnipotent position. A position that a narrative writer can take easily, but which triggers logic alarms in cinema audiences. Cinematic voice overs work if they feel like the genuine reflections of the character at a specific point when that kind of reflection makes sense and there is time to make it. Otherwise they are the writer's narrative omnipotence used to easily tell the story.

Within this challenge the use of the eclipse here does not add much to the story.

Rod Thompson (Level 3)

WOW! Really good! Excellent even. I too employed a blasting shockwave at the end of my short, so kudos for great ideas, aye? I only write long reviews for poorly written scripts, so there ya go. Excellent.

Sally Meyer (Moderator)

Your story is very compelling, pulling me in from the beginning to the end. It was written very very well. I gave it an excellent.

The things I enjoyed were the voice over and the story of Ramin, almost like you got into his head. I like the scary kind of feeling I had when I read it. It sound and feels much bigger than a five page story. Impressive.

The title is pretty weak though... need a really strong title for this great script.

Scott Merrow (Level 5)

Not my kind of story, but a well-written script. Reminded me of the Twilight Zone episode where the kid can wish people "into the cornfield" and they just go away and never come back. Only in your version we get the bloody chunks. Other than it not being my kind of story, my one comment would be that nothing significant happens (over the course of the screenplay). As a boy, he discovers he has this awesome power. He inadvertantly abuses it. He grows up, they do a bunch of tests, try to make a weapon out of him, and he escapes. And in the end, he's the same -- he still has the power. This would be a much better screenplay if he overcame some of the obstacles that confronted him and he grew somehow as a person. I'm not sure if that's what you were trying to do with his last bit of voiceover, when he says the "other" word -- live. If so, it's too little, too late. And we didn't really see the metamorphosis, it just happened.

Shane Shearer (Level 4)

Everything was well written, but all I could think of was how this appears to be either a very good homage, or a distasteful rip off of Scanners. You even mimicked a scene straight from the film: "stop his heart". It was nearly identical to the scene where the protagonist of Scanners quickened and slowed the speed of the Monk's heart rate.

Granted the set-up is different, the general thesis is the same. The running story with the word "die" and then the twist at the end with the word "live" and the vagueness as to whether or not he succeeded was all spectacularly done. Again, though, I can't give you a high score for cloning a concept (and a particular scene). Although the eclipse is merely mentioned in passing.

Had this been an original idea, you would've won this contest.

Stephen Brown (Level 5)

This has a lot of emotion to it and it felt very much like a modern day superhero movie. A kind of graphic novel movie. I think there's scope to expand this to a feature length script.

I felt the V.O. for the most part was well done and added to the script. I especially liked how you ended the V.O. with the young Ramin saying 'Die' out loud. I think you should have done the same at the end with 'Live'.

You raise a lot of interesting questions with this script and I feel you need to plan out a feature length script to do it justice. It felt a little rushed at 5 pages. It is a big story.

Suzanne Smith (Level 3)

This script is beautifully written, such an easy read, great visual. You created this awesome character Ramin, explaining his power, how he developed from a boy to a man in just 5 pages, feel this story would make a great hook to an action/thriller movie. I like the title, and the solar eclipse played well into the story too. Awesome script!

Sylvia Dahlby (Level 5)

I like the idea of a boy who can blow people up with a thought, and the carnage on the first page got my attention. How old is "young boy" 3, 5, 9, 12? I had a hard time picturing him with the adult VO explanation (which, incidentally I didn't like since it had to explain everything - I think the scene would have been much more intrigusing without it). Later he's 15 but I have no idea how much time has passed.

I also liked the ending, there was a compelling story here. Unfortunately, to me this read like the introduction to a video game and not a script.

The VO carries the story thru 15 jumpy scene transitions including a peek thru the microscope (why do I need to see this? seems redundant when the clone appears in the next scene). I would have preferred more action, less explanation, more character interaction and development.

I suggest a heavy editting job, go from the first incidendent without the VO, skip the bit with the marbles and the cops, and let's have some interaction with Ramin and the scientists so we can see Ramin plotting the escape, bonding with his clone, etc. It would make him more sympathetic and add depth - the VO is really not working for me - SHOW DON'T TELL.

You could even consider eliminating ALL the set-up and get right to the escape and subsquent battles with the enemy, all the while showing Ramin and his clone communicating and bonding (ie, Ramin could "teach" his clone how to use the power, thereby explaining to HIM not the audience).

Tejas Patel (Level 3)

This drew me in from the beginning. Excellent storytelling.

Wes Worthing (Level 5)

Very intense. Clever premise. The eclipse seems to be put into the story for no reason. For storytelling purposes it's out of tone from the rest of it. A few things threw me off or made me pause from the writing: The age of Ramin is not established. A "young boy" could be 6 or 12, perhaps you wanted to leave the age up to the director. Later on you refer to Ramin as "older", do you mean he is 25 or 90? Also you don't make it clear that the voice we hear during the VO's is an adult voice; I was picturing a child's voice until I found that out later. This is important because I was confused why a child would say: coalescence of opposing sensations. Why did Ramin let them experiment on him for years when he had the power to kill them as a child? Where did the "hundreds of soldiers and vehicles" come from? How did they know they had to use rocket propelled grenades? The story just needs to be cleaned up with clarity, otherwise this was compelling from beginning to end. The VO worked for me and I LOVED the ending.

William Flink (Level 3)

Random thoughts:

I liked the title. At first I questioned whether the V.O. was really necessary, and sometimes it kind of distracted me, but I think it works, sometimes it feels like the V.O. just tries to confirm what he feels though, something we'd understand by his gestures and expression.

Well written action. I liked the environment too.
The ending was good, I liked the last V.O. sentence.

Good use of solar eclipse as well, using the light etc, I did the same thing with my script.

Comments Made After the Contest

Brian Wind (Level 5) ~ 4/1/2009 12:05 AM

Way to go Micah! Very cool script!

Chris Messineo (Founder) ~ 4/1/2009 12:08 AM

Great story and script. Congratulations.

Sally Meyer (Moderator) ~ 4/1/2009 12:09 AM

Many many congrats, this was a favorite of mine this month.

Margaret Ricke (Level 5) ~ 4/1/2009 12:43 AM

Micah, can I call you my honey and crow for you here? I meant what I said in my review... Love you forever...

(can I say that here???)

Chris Messineo (Founder) ~ 4/1/2009 12:45 AM

Well, there is no edit button, so you can't take it back. :)

MJ Hermanny (Level 5) ~ 4/1/2009 5:25 AM

I'm so glad this placed, I loved it, well done!!

Kevin Carty (Level 4) ~ 4/1/2009 7:41 AM

I thought this was going to win as I enjoyed this one the most I felt as if I could really see a movie for this being done. Congrats.